Depression

The past few weeks I've faced my most difficult challenge yet, depression.  My mom had unofficially diagnosed me with clinical depression.  The past few weeks I've faced lack of sleep, too much sleep, lack of appetite, and feeling sad and worthless.  The reason for this is because I miss home.  I'm not old enough to be doing something like this in my life.  I still need the guiding hand(s) of my family.  I've even quit my job (er, was accidentally fired) and am in the process of rescheduling my plane ticket.  The question that remains is, how am I fighting my depression?

Round 1: Versus Insomnia.  Ready?  Fight!!!

I only had one major bout of insomnia but it was awful.  My body was tired but my brain wasn't.  This was the day before I was going back to work.  I was thinking about how I was going to quit my job and when.  I tossed, turned, listened to music, put the tv on, took medicine, nothing worked.  I finally fell asleep at 3:45 in the morning.  I woke up 3 hours later...  Insomnia won.

Round 2: Versus feeling sad Ready?  Fight!!!

This fight is ongoing.  It's been going up and down, on some days I feel like crap, on other days I just feel bad.  I felt particularly bad while going through all of the recent drama (since only my family members read this, you know what I'm talking about).  Recently, like today and last night, I'm feeling better.  Last night I cheered myself up by watching Scott Pilgrim Versus the World.  That movie never fails to cheer me up.  I also played Pokemon!!!  Pokemon is the one thing that cheers me up and never fails to do so.  No matter how distraught I am in my emotional state, it always works.  Always!  I'm winning this fight.

Round 3: Versus appetite loss Ready?  Fight!!!

I'm losing this one, I only eat one meal a day, sometimes I force myself to eat a second one but my stomach doesn't like that.  All I can do is force myself to eat periodically.

It may look like I'm losing the over all battle with depression but there's one thing that keeps me going.  Hope.  I know I'm going home, I hope I'm going home, and there's no reason to get completely bent out of shape over this.  I'm coming home, and when I do, I should be back to normal.
Till the next and last time